Have you ever read the Divergent series and wondered which faction you would belong to? Abnegation, Amity, Candor, Dauntless, or Erudite? I always imagined I would end up in Erudite. Knowledge has always felt powerful to me, and I have collected more books than I probably need to admit. Growing up, I often found social situations difficult, so books became my comfort zone. They were steady, fascinating, and always available when people felt confusing.
There is also the simple fact that I want to know about almost everything. If being a permanent college student could be a career, I would gladly sign up. So, Erudite always seemed like the obvious choice. But while reading the trilogy, I found myself unexpectedly drawn to Candor. The idea of a community built around honesty is intense, but also strangely freeing. Everyone says what they mean, without hiding behind politeness, performance, or carefully edited versions of themselves.
Of course, honesty can become harmful when it is used as an excuse to be cruel. There is a real difference between speaking the truth with care and saying something harsh simply because you can. I have crossed that line before, and I am not proud of it. But there is a kind of honesty that is respectful, sincere, and necessary, even when it is uncomfortable. That is the kind of honesty I have been thinking about lately.
This came to mind after reading a personal post from a blogger I have followed for a long time. She answered a very direct question from a reader about how she supports her lifestyle and how she seems to keep everything together. It was personal, but it was also a question many people quietly wonder about when they read blogs or scroll through social media. From the outside, it can look as though someone has a beautifully organized life, especially when all we see are styled photographs, thoughtful captions, and polished moments.
That question made me think about how I might appear to other people. If you only knew me from this blog, from my personal Instagram, or from the occasional post on Facebook, you might assume that my life is tidy and calm. You might think I have everything figured out. Today, I want to say clearly and honestly that this is not true.
In some ways, yes, I am fortunate. I have a job, a car, people who care about me, and many basic needs met. But I also have doubt, uncertainty, insecurity, and fear about the future. I have dishes waiting in the sink and bills that need attention. I have a stressful job in finance, and above all, I have been sick for months with an unclear digestive illness that has caused pain, isolation, and emotional strain. It has affected nearly every part of my life.
I have shared before that part of the reason I created this blog was to help support my journey back to health. But behind every colorful recipe photo and cheerful note, there have been sleepless nights curled up on the couch with stomach pain. There have been missed plans with friends because I was afraid of getting sick in public. There have been tearful evenings wondering why my medicine was not working and anxious workdays shaped by the fear of symptoms appearing at the worst possible time.
I am not sharing this for pity. I am sharing it because appearances can be deeply misleading. A beautiful plate of vegan purple cabbage tacos with tangy chipotle aioli does not mean the person behind the camera has a perfect life. Neat photos can exist inside a messy season, and that is okay. If I have ever seemed like someone who has it all together, I want to be honest: I do not. And I suspect most people do not either.
Nobody has it all together.
Purple Cabbage Tacos with Tangy Chipotle Aioli
Ingredients
Oven-Baked Zucchini
- 2 medium zucchini sliced into thin rounds
- Extra virgin olive oil, for baking
- Salt and pepper, to taste
Tangy Chipotle Aioli
- 1/3 cup cashews soaked
- 1 adobo chile in sauce
- 1/2 tbsp Dijon mustard
- 2 tbsp almond milk
- 2 tbsp water
- 3 tsp apple cider vinegar
- 1/2 tsp salt
- Pinch of turmeric optional
Cabbage Tacos
- 1 head purple cabbage
- Arugula
- Raw hemp seeds, for garnish
Instructions
Oven-Baked Zucchini
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Preheat the oven to 400 degrees F.
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Wash and dry the zucchini. Using a mandoline or a sharp knife, slice the zucchini into thin rounds, about 1/2 inch thick.
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Arrange the zucchini rounds on a baking sheet. Drizzle evenly with extra virgin olive oil, then season with salt and pepper.
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Bake for about 30 minutes, or until browned. Check often to prevent the zucchini from burning.
Tangy Chipotle Aioli
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Soak the cashews for at least two hours, or overnight if possible.
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Add all aioli ingredients to a blender and blend until smooth and creamy.
Putting It All Together
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Separate the leaves from the purple cabbage to create taco shells. Cutting off the bottom where the leaves join can make this easier.
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Fill each cabbage leaf with a handful of arugula, then add the baked zucchini on top.
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Drizzle with tangy chipotle aioli and finish with raw hemp seeds.
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Serve and enjoy.
I will leave you with a quote that feels especially important on days when life looks easier from the outside than it really is:
Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.
Song of the Day:
Worrywart – Radiohead